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  • Welcome to my blog!

    At 15, I became an International Ford Fashion Model. In the fashion industry, I experienced the best and the worst that the world had to offer. My life was full of travel, money, and people - but spiritually, I was running on empty. After I accepted the Lord, my life was forever changed and I realized there is more to beauty than meets the eye.

    I am now a fifty-three year old woman, the mother of four grown children, and have been abundantly blessed with TEN grandchildren. My husband is a retired pastor and we are working on our Bucket List. I've had a number of health challenges along the way, BUT... I've recently decided to get healthy and make some lifestyle changes to be the best I can be -- spiritually, physically, and mentally. I'm still working on Living Beautifully and I'd love for you to join me on the journey.

Challenge – The Good News Paper wrote an article about me:
Beauty beyond Barbie —
Former international Ford fashion model Tonya Ruiz shares how an inner makeover revealed her true beauty
Tonya Ruiz says,“Looking beautiful outwardly is only skin deep, but being beautiful is soul deep.”

On Tonya’s third birthday her eyes lit up as she unwrapped her first perfect poly-vinyl goddess – a Barbie doll. That is where she believes her obsession with fashion and beauty began.

“I believed my life would be perfect if I were that beautiful,” Tonya shares.

Hoping to emerge “Barbie-fied” from her “gawky adolescence” Tonya signed up for classes with a modelling agent at age 15.

Soon after her sixteenth birthday a modelling agent from Paris arrived at her agency looking for a fresh new face and chose Tonya out of 200 other girls he interviewed.

Within a few months of arriving in Paris, Tonya was adorning magazine covers, billboards, and television commercials and travelling to fashion capitals New York, Milan, Munich, and Tokyo.

“My life was glamorous and exciting; I danced with royalty, drank champagne, and dated athletes, rock stars, and millionaires,” she recalls.

“I’d always been thin, so it never occurred to me my excessive drinking and late-night eating could add pounds to my figure, but they did.”

After gaining ten pounds Tonya was increasingly rejected in favour of thinner models.

“I crash dieted to maintain my weight for a while but soon lost control,” she admits.

“The harder I tried to lose weight, the more I became obsessed with food. I got so hungry I started bingeing and purging. It became a vicious cycle.”

Finally, after a week-long fast, she walked into Ford Models weighing 54kg and was told she still needed to lose more weight.

“Now when I looked in the mirror I no longer saw a resemblance to Barbie,” she says sadly.

Once the glamour and excitement wore off Tonya says she began feeling a void in her life.

Barbie doll

“No matter where I lived, who I dated, or what level of success I achieved, I felt empty,” she admits.

“I used food to fill the empty place, and eventually I turned to alcohol, drugs, and men. My life spiralled downwards.”

Then one day she same across a Bible in her hotel room and began reading it.

“Thinking about my messy life, I knew I was far from God and doubted He could love me. When I began asking spiritual questions, a model friend encouraged me to read New Age self-help books. I began consulting my horoscope, searching fruitlessly for answers.”

At 18, Tonya began contemplating suicide. “My whole worth in life was based on the way I looked,” she says. “I couldn’t look perfect so I felt absolutely worthless.”

She flew home to see her family before going through with her plan but, when a friend invited her to a Christian concert, plans changed.

“After the music, the pastor asked: ‘Do you have a void in your life? Have you tried everything and still feel empty?’ I felt he was speaking directly to me,” she remembers.

She knew what she had to do: step forward to ask Jesus to become her personal Saviour and Lord.

“After I accepted the Lord, my life was forever changed and I realised there is more to beauty than meets the eye,” she says.

It was at that point that Tonya walked away from the modelling world and got a job as a secretary.

“God slowly began to change me. By reading the Bible, I learnt I don’t have to look perfect for God to love me. I discovered God doesn’t accept me because of the size of my jeans, the condition of my skin, or my reflection in the mirror.

Tonya Ruiz in magazine

“God loves me so much He sent His only Son Jesus to die for me, just as I am.”

After leaving the modelling business Tonya no longer felt the pressure to stay extremely thin and soon found a healthier balance with eating, exercise, and sleeping.

“I also stopped drinking, doing drugs, and staying out all night,” she adds.

After marrying Ron and having four children, 53-year-old Tonya admits her figure is not what it once was but says she found a new way to deal with her disappointment.

“I began to take a good look at godly women I admired and realised they had a ‘glow’ about them despite not being model material,” she explains.

“I realised Christian women I knew had a beauty that didn’t come from the makeup counter but from time spent in prayer and Bible study.”

Tonya reminds her daughters of this truth, reading them the Bible verse that says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (see Psalm 139:13-14).”

“Looking beautiful outwardly is only skin deep, but being beautiful is soul deep,” she concludes.

“That’s the only beauty I now want to model.”

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Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

“Ron,” I protested late one night as I was trying to read, “that clicking sound while you scroll thru the Netflix menu is driving me absolutely crazy. Could you use your remote and turn the volume down?”

“Too bad there’s not a remote with volume control when you’re chewing ice.” He maturely responded.

“Ha! Well, when I have nightmares – the monsters don’t growl. They just say, Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.”

At which point, I started laughing at my own joke. He, clearly not amused, turned the television off.

Ron and I do not have a perfect marriage. We are just two flawed, quirky, selfish humans who have, with God’s help, managed to stay married. The evangelist Billy Graham was married to Ruth, a fabulously outspoken godly woman. When she was asked if she had ever considered divorce, she replied, “Divorce? No. Murder? Yes.”

Reasons Ron and I are still together:

  1. We believe in the “till death do us part” vow we took on our wedding day.
  2. I could make number one happen, but I don’t look good in orange.

Exodus 20:13 reads, “You shall not murder.” I know you seldom see one of the Ten Commandments used as a stay-married admonition – but as they say, “If the verse fits, use it.”

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Cheese Toast

“I never got my cheese toast or utensils,” I complained to my husband. “The waitress is not doing a very good job.” Others in our large group started to grumble. We were on vacation, we were hungry, and the service was just plain lousy. The next time the waitress came to our table, my husband reached out and touched her arm. When she turned toward him, he caught her eye and asked, “How are you?” “I’ve had the worst day of my life,” she replied as tears filled her eyes. She continued, “My father has diabetes and had his lower leg amputated this morning. He wanted me to stay with him at the hospital. I couldn’t get anyone to cover my evening shift and I was late to work. I hope I don’t lose my job.” Her statement took my breath away. I was upset about cheese toast and she was worried about her very ill parent and her job. When we prayed for our meal, my husband also prayed for the waitress and her father.

That long-ago incident made a big impression on me. I wondered, how many times had I been insensitive with someone when they were going through a difficult time? Since then, when I am dealing with people, I try to be patient, take the time to make eye contact and simply ask, “How are you?” I am amazed at the life struggles and stories I’ve heard by asking this simple question. My life lesson learned from a missing piece of Cheese Toast.

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Tonya Ruiz with Marilyn Monroe

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” — Marilyn Monroe

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What place does God give women in society? Ever since God made Eve, He has created half of the world’s population with two X chromosomes. Jesus gave women a significant place in his life and ministry and He elevated the status of women in Jewish society. Women played an important role in the early church and the spreading of the gospel. Throughout history God has empowered women. In the Bible, women held positions of power such as: warrior, leader, wife, mother, teacher, nurse, queen, judge, prophetess, and deaconess.
In the 1970s, women were encouraged to subscribe to Ms. Magazine, burn their bras, and sing Helen Reddy’s “I am woman, hear me roar!” During the last forty years, women who lived the Biblical idea of womanhood were viewed by many as being un-liberated and living unfulfilled lives. Even today, Christian women are sometimes portrayed as weak, passive, and goal-less. In reality, our faith should make us stronger, more proactive, and divinely inspired, because we have His power. We were created for a purpose. We have a destiny. Girl Power at its finest!

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ron-singing-wguitar

He walked into the Bible study with his guitar and a big smile on his face. It was 1981, but he was a leftover hippie with long hair, a beard, boots, and a suede vest. He picked me up for dates in a brown VW bug that was older than me and often brought along his guitar and serenaded me with songs made famous by the Beatles or Van Morrison. On Sundays, he volunteered at church leading worship. After our wedding, there were three of us in the marriage, so it was a bit crowded— with Ron, his guitar and me. “Put the guitar down and take me to the hospital!” I insisted, when in labor with our first child. We acquired guitars as quickly as we did children. He earned a living with his music and lyrics. The years passed quickly and we now have four grown children, ten grandchildren, numerous guitars, 1 bass, two ukuleles, and a mandolin. He still has a big smile on his face.

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