The End of My Motherhood Career
My youngest, Jeremy, kissed the top of my head and said, “Bye, Mom, I’m leaving.” He shut the front door and drove the U-Haul away to his newly-leased apartment. I was sick with a fever and never got out of bed to see him off. There was no sobbing mother standing on the curb waving a tissue as he drove away from the house where he had spent his childhood. It was probably less embarrassing for all of us that I was down for the count. I am a pathetic mess at goodbyes and the realization that my motherhood career is over. I worked myself out of a job.
Let the Little One Come Unto Me
When my children were babies, we had a time during church service when we publically dedicated them before the congregation. The pastor prayed as we offered our children and their futures to God. For me, it was not a one-time moment, but a never-ending petition of giving my children over to the Lord, throughout their growing up years and to this day.
Live What you Believe
Sometimes, I’m sure my mothering felt more like smothering to my children, but I was committed to seeing they were trained to obey me. I was not their friend. My job was to train them up in obedience to me, so that as adults they would obey God’s voice and let the Bible be their moral compass. My husband, Ron, and I did our best to make the scriptures a part of their everyday lives. This was the best we could offer them, a chance to live a life that mirrored what we believed.
It was the worst of times… it was the best of times…
During their teens and early twenties, I experienced grief and feelings of failure as a mother as those darn kids sometimes made lousy choices. I was continual praying and releasing them to the Lord. Although I certainly tried, I couldn’t always be there for them, BUT… the Lord was. Along with the hard times, there were moments when I thought my heart would burst with all the joy my children brought to my life.
Parenting is a Verb
My days of active parenting are over. I still offer advice – solicited and otherwise – but after three decades of intense mothering, my job is done. I am giving my adult children their freedom. Freedom to make mistakes and freedom to thrive.
Let Them Go
I am Elsa, from Frozen, but instead of singing, “Let it go,” I’ve changed the lyrics to “Let them go.” I can hardly stand letting go. My arms want to encircle them and keep them safe in my embrace, but that’s just creepy. Letting go is the right thing to do, for me and for my children.
Lord, I release my children to you. Help me to love, support, and encourage them from a healthy distance. To give godly them advice when asked and to keep my lips buttoned otherwise. I’m can’t be there for them, but You are. Help those darn kids to keep their eyes on you. Amen